Exercise is dangerous to my health.

As you may know, I’m working toward a healthier lifestyle through diet and exercise. Nope, I can’t lie – living healthy may sound good, but I want to look good in my daughter’s wedding pictures. That’s it. I’ve decided that short of plastic surgery (which costs too much and I don’t think I have enough time to heal) I have to stop eating all the good, fattening stuff and get my fanny up and moving.

Tonight I decided that I would supplement my Gazelle workout (more on that in a minute) with some weights. My arms are looking a little soft and not so firm ….okay, my arms are beginning to flap like flag in a tornado, but back to my story.

I don’t have any hand weights because I think this whole exercising thing is a fad and will pass soon enough. I use dear hubby’s hand weights and since he actually does the whole lifting weight thing, he has a lot more weight on then I want to lift. (Moment of truth: I only lift the bar – no weights, but the bar weighs 5 lbs and that’s enough)

I am disassembling the weights when WHAMO! one of the weights slides off the bar and lands on my thumb. I’m sure it’s a 75 lb weight. I grab my thumb and just stand still hoping that the pain will skip over me. No such luck. Immediately it begins – babump, babump, babump, — my thumb is keeping rhythm with my heart beat. Every thump sends a shooting pain to my thumb. OUCH!

I just wanted to better looking arms, not a severed thumb. Now, I have to worry about my thumbnail turning black and falling off. I cry until black mascara is streaming down my face and I look a little like Ozzy Osbourne. I run ice cold water over my thumb for a few minutes. But I’m a trooper, I get my cry out, wipe the black goop off my face and hop on the Gazelle and start swinging away (I look nothing like that Tony Little guy on TV – he’s just way too happy to be exercising). I even lift the hand weights – throbbing thumb and all.

Exercise is dangerous for me, and my dear sweet hubby just told me that the weight that landed on my thumb was a 5 lb weight, not 75 lbs. I’m sure he’s wrong.

I’m off to ice down my thumb some more. This wedding is killing me…..