Recently, I read a blog post by Amanda that sent me reeling. The post made me consider why I do what I do.
Do I write, teach and speak because I’m called? Do I do it for God’s glory and His glory alone? Or do I do it to GET something? And if so, what am I getting?
I would LOVE to sit here and tell you I ALWAYS do it for God’s glory and nothing else. I would LOVE to say that every word I’ve written, every word I’ve spoken before a group has ALL been for His glory and His alone – but I can’t. It would be a HUGE lie.
I struggled with writing this post. I worried that you or you or that girl over there… you see her? She’s the one looking for a speaker for her women’s event. I was worried y’all would read this and think ‘we don’t want her.‘ And this fear of not being good enough has paralyzed me – it’s made reconsider my words on this place, but enough of that mess. Let’s get real.
I’ve written and spoke when the glory I wanted was my own. I stood on my own strength and fallen FLAT on my face because of it. I’ve spent time down in the ditches and pits of life because of my own pride. And do NOT want to repeat any of this ever again.
But I go back to that original question – am I doing this for His Glory or for my own?
I WANT it to be ALL for His glory and His alone. It’s my prayer and the cry of my heart. Before I open my mouth to speak before a group, I’ve begged the Lord to show me my pride and to show me how to put Him above all else. I’ve prayed that every word from my mouth be for His glory and not my advancement.
I pray for discernment, wisdom, guidance and humility – regularly. But am I doing this because He’s called me to proclaim His glory?
It’s a question I want to ponder over the next few days and weeks – but let me ask you, why do you BLANK (fill in the blank with your thing – teach Sunday School, serve in Women’s ministry, blog, write, speak, serve)?