Saturday I worked on a video blog — for most of the day.  Now why in the world would I do such a thing?   I really don't have a good answer for that question.

Here's how it started.  I'm speaking at the Free To Be Me Bloggers Retreat  in October.  Sweet Angie Knight is planning this event along with her sister and an incredible team.  They asked that all the speakers to do  a video…. oh my, when I first read that request I was filled with such dread.  Me?  On video? Oh no!

I have a huge problem with seeing myself in pictures or on the screen.  Just don't like it and I'm so very critical of me.   And there was the whole ‘I don't know how to do a video' problem.

Somehow I thought doing a video blog would be a good thing.  Apparently, I was either caffiene deficit or sleep deprived or possibly (and most likely) both. 

I started out the video wearing only lipstick … well, and clothes, I don't want you to think I was doing anything inappropriate.  After about five takes sans makeup or fixed hair, I decided that was just a little more real than I needed to be.

I added some makeup and did a little hair fixin'.  Let the video-ing commence.  Over the next 19 takes, I found all kind of stuff I didn't like. 

  • I don't like how my shirt is pulling in that one
  • Ooh, not a good idea to bend over in front of the camera
  • I sound funny in that one
  • What is up with my hair?  Should it be up?  or Down?   
  • The boa got caught in the wheel of my chair… not pretty
  • My face looks crooked

At one point I got so tickled at myself.  I was trying to make a video for the Free to Be Me Retreat and I wasn't feeling so free to be me.  I wanted to be someone else.

I wanted to be:

Comfortable on camera

cute & skinny on camera

eloquent and well spoken (kinda hard for a country girl from Alabama)

graceful on camera  (which I ruined when I fell out of the chair trying to retrieve the boa)

After about 20 takes I decided to stop the madness which coincided with finding the ‘take a picture' button on the webcam.  This is when the crazy just ramped up to mach speeds.  (Don't ask what mach speed is, I don't know.  I just know it's really, really fast.  )

I decided I should try out different looks.

With glasses – hair down

Glasses – hair up

No glasses and so on and on and on.  Did I mention I pulled out four pair of glasses.  I know.  I'm pathetic.

And all of this for video for the Free to Be Me Retreat.  I was neither being me or feeling free to being me. 

Finally, I just stopped.  I landed on 24 and went with it.  

I can't do perfect and I don't even come anywhere close to it.  Ithink I either overcame my fear of video or just gave in to the crazies. 

The video's not perfect, but it is me.  And there is a feather boa involved.   That makes me smile. Enough said.