I wrote a bit about giving up the destination the other day, but I didn't tell y'all some of my destinations — at least some of the ones I hoped would be my destination. (I ALMOST wrote final destination, but I'm certain on that one).
Now, just in case you're not up to speed (and you just don't want to take the time to read about the giving up part) let me give you the nutshell version —
I'm an obsessive planner who WANTS to know all about everything, but that's not the life I'm called to — none of us get to know it all. This adventure of a life in Christ is about trusting Him with the journey and the destination. I have spent many hours trying to fit myself into a destination that was not mine. Here are a few I never made:
New York loft dweller – I decided to live in the NYC loft when I was about 13. I didn't have a clue what a loft was — I lived in a house in Alabama which may be as far from a NYC loft as possible — and I didn't have a plan beyond ‘live in a loft.' I didn't say all my destinations made sense.
Superstar — My teenaged self wanted to be a superstar. I didn't really have a plan beyond superstar, it was really more about rubbing elbows with Paul Michael Glazer, Bobbie Sherman and some of the Charlie Angel girls then it was about performing. Reflected glory? Yep. I was looking for significance in all the wrong places. Happily superstar status never happened.
Super Crafty Room Mom — I made a run at this one. I TRIED, oh how I tried, I signed up every year and I was always a room mom, but never, ever, ever the crafty one. You know her (maybe you are her?); she recreates the manger scene from dryer lint, hairspray and watercolors; she can bake the most amazing brownies and even decorates them, and she does it all while wearing a snazzy seasonal sweater. I never made it to super crafty mom and I wore my cute Christmas sweater inside out, so I failed at seasonal dressed too.
Church Lady – When I embraced my faith in my early 30s, I also embraced all the TRADITIONS — some wonderful, some not-so-wonderful. I aged 20 years overnight. I went from funny, quirky, slightly offbeat to Rosie the rigid rule-keeper. Praise the LORD that His grace saved me from my mess of a self. Through His Word I found the freedom of a life in Christ.
Super Speaker– The Lord called me to minister to women, not to stand on a platform, but I got the two confused for a time. I mistook my pride for a platform and I set aside ministry for my personal mission. God set me straight and He put my feet back on the path. I'm called to minister to women and sometimes that happens from a platform but usually it's over coffee or through writing, blogging, or just listening. I'm just a cracked pot of a vessel that God uses for His purpose as He chooses. That He uses me for any purpose continues to amaze me.
These are just a handful of the destinations I'd planned for myself — I left out quite a few including figure skater, down-hill ski jumper (what can I say, I LOVE the Winter Olympics), Mary Tyler Moore (yes, I am dating myself with this one) novelist, corporate giant, mother-of-the-year, and super gardener (and that's just the tip of the iceberg).
I'm glad I failed at these! I'm not looking for a destination, I'm living in the adventure. Where will I be in a week, a month, a year? I don't know, but I am walking with the One who does!