Many of you have heard me talk or read my words about cruising and how much fun I have as a part of the Premier Christian Cruise staff. I love the work, our customers, my co-workers and cruising. Contrary to popular belief, I do work while on board the ship and it’s exhausting, but fun.
I’ll be honest, when I first started this job I felt guilty – very guilty. I left a position as the director of a nonprofit that works with abused and neglected children to work with a cruise company. I struggled with my decision – should I do it?
Lord, is this the life you’re calling me to? Really? Is this truly from You?
It was clear – working with Premier Christian Cruises was truly a God thing. I know the Lord wants to bless us, His Word teaches me that, but I still struggled with leaving needy children behind. I often think about the work I did with the nonprofit and pray for the remaining staff and the children they are serving.
On a recent cruise, we visited a group home in the Bahamas. These children were much like the ones I once worked with – abused, neglected, and abandoned. I held precious babies and wondered if they would ever know the love of a family. I laughed and played with two adorable pre-school girls and I stood in awe of the resilience of children.
As I stood talking to adults about the needs of the children, I felt the slightest pressure against my side. I looked down into the darkest, most soulful eyes I’ve ever seen. “Hi, what’s your name?” Her lips moved, but I could only hear the faintest of sounds. Finally, I determined her name was Rayann. While all the other children laughed, played, read us stories, danced around, and entertained us, Rayann stood by my side, just barely pressing against my side.
We talked… well, I talked and Rayann just looked at me. As I knelt down to talk with Rayann, I could see the pain in her face, the slight flinch at any fast movement, my heart shattered – this tiny creature needed protection, but I was just a woman from a cruise. I was just a part of the team who came to view the home and discuss how we might provide some type of mission experience for our guests.
We talked ideas, well others talked and I just listened but my attention was on Rayann. I asked her about school and friends and I struggled to hear her one word answers. While the adults discussed ways to help, partnership opportunities, and logistically issues, I prayed for wisdom and asked the Lord to protect Rayann.
Our time together ended way too soon, but those dark eyes and tiny voice are still with me. They haunt me. I know the Lord is up to something, but I don’t know what or where He’s leading me.
He has shown me that my experience of working with the abused, abandoned, and neglected will be used for His work whether it’s in an organization in the states or as a part of a Christian cruise company.
I don’t know where He is going with this, but I want only to walk in His will.
What about you? Is God placing your feet on a new path?
Mary your posts just melt my heart, God has drawn me much closer to Him and my Faith has beeen made stronger and my prayer time, I would have never know this blog your blog existed had it not been prayer for Joanne and tweeting with u all on twitter now I have new friends in my life and I don’t know what God is up to in my life being unemployed for a yr and couple months I don’t know where I am going with the Lord but He has it all planned out and I believe He has put me on anew path with walking with Him and I am trusting Him. Just want to thank you for being an inspiration in my life. Glad that I can call you friend thanks Mary.
Carol
Girl I just wanted to jump through that screen and hold that sweet Rayann – I’m not sure I wouldn’t have figured out a way to take her with me…. Breaks my heart!
I am so excited that PCC is trying to figure out a way to incorporate missions into their experience.
What a blessing to be able to do that!
Much love
It was so weird, but as I was reading this, the old hymn “What a Friend We Have in Jesus” started up in my head. Can’t tell you the last time I sang or even heard that song, but there it was, the musical background to your story. I just looked up the lyrics and was particularly struck by the last verse:
“Are we weak and heavy laden,
cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In his arms he’ll take and shield thee;
thou wilt find a solace there.”
I think that, no matter where He’s taking us, whether it be to a foreign mission field or a luxury liner on the high seas, we have only one thing required: to be on our knees, lifting high every care-encumbered soul we encounter so they can “find a solace there.”
I feel completely certain Rayann would agree.
After reading this story I had this drive to write something back, make a comment, or just acknowledge this story because God is found in this experience. Sometimes we are so caught up in our work, life, and our own personal problems that we forget about others out there and what they are going through. As I made my way through your story I could not help but think about this little girl and the life she has and will have in the future. She will go through hardships that most of us will never see in a life time and yet she still had “soulful eyes” giving life to everyone in that room. A little girl living in a third world country can have more of an effect on others than any political or prominent figure in society. It is a great representation of how God can use his work through anyone. I pray that we as human beings can see the life in this little girl and use it to help others like her. I will end this post with a few lyrics from a song I have been listening too and I feel like it fits this situation:
Here it comes, that heavy love
We’re never going to move it alone
Here it comes, that heavy love
Playing as the cylinder rolls
Here it comes, that heavy love
I only want to share in the load
Here it comes, that heavy love
I’m never going to move it alone