I posted a couple of days ago on mean girls, but I decided there's more to this story.
Girls are mean to one another and they learn the mean from mean Moms and other women. Some girls are raised on mean and some learn it to survive in mean girl world.But girls grow up and the mean get's less evident but it's still there.
I'm blessed to have LOTS of women in my life. I work with women, mother two young women, teach women, minster and speak before groups of women. I have lots of women in my life and they are all different. There are some who are outgoing and boisterous, others are shy and quiet, some are my age and older and others are young women and some young Moms. I LOVE each one of them and I love them for their differences.
But there's some mean among these women and it BREAKS my heart. Yes, you read that right. Even among my Christian women there is some mean — and it's tearing us apart.
It's one thing to be hurt by a women who does NOT profess to be a follower of Christ, but to be hurt by someone who declares she loves the Lord and tries to live by His example — that hurts. A lot. I'm not talking about someone forgetting to wish you a happy birthday or rushing by you without saying hello — that's not intentional mean (usually it's not), that's forgetfulness and busyness. What I'm talking about is intentional mean — gossip, backbiting, cruel comments, and I could go on but I'm certain you know what mean looks like.
I've been on the receiving end and on the giving end. I hope to never be a mean girl again and with the Lord's help, I won't be. I can't help if someone chooses to be mean to me, but I can change how I respond to the mean. I don't want to let that bother me. Someone's thoughts or comments on me do NOT change who I am in Christ. And beyond that, I MUST continue to love her…. yes, even the mean girl.
“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-35
We girls are a powerful force for the Lord, but we have to stop focusing on our differences and look to Him for guidance. We have to stand together in love and in support of one another. Let's link arms and serve the Lord together.
How do we stop the mean?
What are your suggestions? Ideas? Stories?
It is sad but true that even we as women of God can be mean and cruel at times, even to our sisters. What can be done? just continue to grow in Christ and ask for an extra dose of forgiveness and unconditional love for those around us. Loving your site…I’ve quoted you in my last post…hope I didn’t get too far off base. Have a blessed week…
Hmmm. I don’t believe it’s out responsibility to stop another’s behavior more than it’s our honor, our way to show Christ to another, ours to respond from His heart when hurt.
This has repeatedly come up over the last few weeks for me. How do we react when we are offended, deliberately or accidentally? What does HIS heart look like walked out when another wounds us?
Most pharasees I’m sure were good men, with good motives protecting their way of things, what they perceived to be Gods things. But they slaughtered the ONE they worshiped. It’s going to happen and in the heat of the issue, my response doesn’t show HIS heart, doesn’t reveal HIM to others.
This is what I have learned. Most times, hurt people hurt people. So I know going into those times someone is “mean” to me, that they must be hurting. Then that saddens me, leading me to reach out and be kind. Sounds like a great formula, but I’m confessing that hasn’t always been my mode of operation. But it sure is my intent. Love on those who have taken “hurt” and turned it into “mean”. They need love. In turn, I always pray they’ll receive it as such! Love ya. Thanks for this – great post.
Oh I’ve been on the hurt by mean side of the fence. I pray I’ve never been the mean girl. I’ll have to think on that.
We need to love like Jesus and pray for those who persecute us. Through His spirit, we can live this thing out so no one gets intentionally hurt.
Great thinking. In the Esther study Beth Moore writes she had a chapter on mean girls. Your posts add to the discussion.