Odd title, huh?
I thought so too, but then what the hey!
It’s been a crazy two weeks! I came home after surgery feeling like someone had stabbed me in the stomach… 5 times, because they did. Well, I guess stabbed isn’t the right word, but I had five incisions ranging from tiny to five staples. In all honestly, I never was in pain. Nausea, yep! Had a lot of that, but no pain. Now, I’m two weeks out and still no pain.
I’ve gone from living off of soup broth and water to adding in a scrambled egg and some grits. That first scrambled egg was the most amazing thing I’ve EVERY tasted!! EVER. Trust me on this.
The biggest change for me is I’m not hungry or craving anything. I eat on time because I’m supposed to. Not to say I don’t love that egg every morning. But cravings? No. I do want to CRUNCH something! That will come. I’m thinking saltine cracker. I know, I have some simple tastes these days.
I think about chips and queso, but I think it’s more about what happens over the chips and queso — the laughter, the conversations, the connections. Don’t get me wrong, I think I would still LOVE the queso, just in smaller quantities.
This is a crazy new normal for me… and I know it will pass. After all, it’s a bit traumatic to get two/ thirds of your stomach taken out. I’m sure I’ll have more of an appetite in days to come. I’m sure my love of food is not gone, just tempered. I’m learning to eat to live and not live to eat. It’s a crazy place for me.
When I stop eating before I even finish one scrambled egg, it makes me pause and wonder ‘who am I?’ But it’s just me. Eating less and losing weight. I’m down 22 lbs in two weeks! CRAZY, I know. Don’t worry (not that you were) this won’t continue. It will taper off.
So that’s the update — I’m eating eggs … or I should say, I can eat an egg. Next stop — mushed up vegetables.