I love the Andy Griffith show. Do you remember Emmet? He was the handyman or the Fix-it guy. If it was broken, Emmet had a solution for you. If he couldn’t fix it, it was likely beyond help.
I often try to be Emmet to the women I come in contact with. I listen to their stories and then I just want to ‘fixit’ — I offer up suggestions, ideas and loads of advice.
Recently a young woman shared her troubles and problems with me. I had a solution for each issue she was facing.
Do this for that. And do this other for that thing. And then you just do this. All will be well.
And in the midst of my Fix-it solutions, it hit me (or maybe it was the Holy Spirit nudging me) — where’s God in all your advice?
He was no where. I had all the solutions and trust me, I really don’t. She didn’t need me to Fix-it, she just needed me to listen. She didn’t expect me to have all the answers she just wanted to share.
Thankfully I shut my mouth and listened to her. I shared God’s Word and assured her that He loves her and will never leave her nor forsake her. I told her I trusted God’s hand in my life and I encouraged her to trust Him, too. Even when things didn’t make sense.
My default is to fix-it for everyone . My husband, my girls, my friends and even women who come to me to just share. And the thing is — I don’t know how to fix it. I stumble, fall, fail, and mess up on a regular basis. I just know that Jesus loves me and He’s my Rock and Redeemer and that’s the best Fix-it ever.
Oh Mary I am the same way! Sometimes to an obsession. Mine is rooted in not being able to fix my traumatic childhood environment.
In seminary, our spiritual formation groups were like small groups, but each person would share in turn and no one else could comment on anything anyone else said. It was strange at first, but it was freeing because the listeners did not have to feel obligated to try to offer solutions, and it let each of us talk thru things and listen to God’s voice.
Hmmm, certainly something to ponder. I need to remember the two ears, one mouth thingy more often, too.
I can so feel ya sister. Im always trying to fix. In regards to my mouth i have to claim this verse: …Keep your mouth shut, and let your heart do the talking. (Psalm 4:4 MSG)
I suffer from that problem too. God gave me a lesson when my son was young. At the time we lived in Maine and in the evening went driving to see if we could see wildlife- mostly looking for moose and bear. My son was 2 or 3 at the time and when praying after a night we’d seen nothing he prayed to see of all things fish! Well I got it in my mind to answer that prayer for him and the next day took him to a little creek where I knew there would be fish and told him God was answering his prayer. Well that evening we went out driving and as we drove past a pond fish were jumping out of the water! I knew God was telling me He didn’t need me to answer prayers, He could handle it Himself.
Wise words from a wise lady.
Love you.
Just lately, I’ve had a bit of a downpour on people needing my ear. I asked the last one why she came to me, from what was really a very puffed-up, pride-filled place. She said, “You’ve got what looks to be a really close relationship with Jesus, and that’s what I’m looking for.” Well, praise the Lord she could still see that through my PRIDE. Sheesh! It truly IS Him they want and it’s up to me to shut up and deliver. Living low. Humbling. Necessary. Right.
Here’s what you need to do, Mary….Sorry, I just couldn’t help myself! 😉
You know I think a lot of of have this same problem. I know I do. Perhaps it’s our mothering instinct. We are so used to being there for our kids, taking care of all of their issues. Then again, it could be that pride issue. *sigh*
Know that you are not alone in this challenge, Mary…I’m right there with ya!
Hugs…
I literally just had this conversation with several coworkers today… Our conclusion matches yours exactly. We can’t fix a thing, but we sure do try. I have worn myself slap out trying to “help/fix/mend” someone else. It cannot be done apart from a work of the Holy Spirit of God. It is liberating to realize that, but at the same time I can’t let that be my excuse for not ministering to others. You know what I mean? The key for me is to find the balance in knowing when/how far to go. I can’t, but He can. That’s why I love John 15:4-5. “Apart from Him, I can do nothing.” Walking in the Spirit, being in a usable “state,” and then getting myself out of the way and pointing them to THE WAY! 🙂
Love you sister,
G.J.
Mary, a mirror was put up to me with this post. Mercy! I have one of those “fix-it” personalities as well…and I am always being reminded that I can’t fix one thing. Not one! Only he can do the fixing. Wow…loved this post. Thank you for sharing this! I completely appreciate it…and you!