Do you ever wonder? I do, all the time. I wonder about all kinds of things. I wonder why I can’t grow an azalea worth a flip – come on, it’s an azalea bush. It seems every house in Alabama has a great azalea bush, except mine. My azalea bushes are spindly and homely looking with only a few pitiful blooms. We won’t even discuss my attempt at pruning.

I wonder why it takes so darn long to cook anything really good – like a roast. I wonder why honeysuckles only bloom for such a short time – and weeds grow year ‘round. I wonder why if I’m in a running late (which is more often than it should be) I end up trailing a school bus or get behind Pa Kettle taking the tractor out for a spin.

I wonder why no matter how much I read the map and believe I know where I’m going, I will always have to turn around – at least once. I wonder why vacations seem to start so slow (we have five whole days) and end so fast (where did the time go?)

There’s so much I wonder about. I wonder why I didn’t appreciate being in my twenties as much as I should – looking back I realize I looked pretty good and had so much going for me. Now, I’m in my forties and I am appreciating the heck out of them.

I wonder why being a mom is so hard, and I still love doing it – most of the time. I wonder why it seems like only a couple of years ago my girls were playing dress-up in the living room, but it’s been over ten years since those days. Today one is married and the other is 15.

I wonder why I find time to read books, follow multiple TV shows, and open hundreds of emails but I struggle to find time to spend with the Lord. I wonder why I forget – so quickly – how wonderful it is to just spend time reading God’s Word. I think I may have an answer for this one – priority. I chose what is important to me and if I don’t make time with the Lord important in my life then I don’t find time for it.

I picked up a Bible study by Kelly Minter, No Other Gods and I’ve loved it. I’m not doing it with a group – I’m just working through it on my own, but what a blessing it has been to me. How easily we fall into placing idols in our lives – and I think the most eye-opening piece for me (and so much of this study has been eye-opening and heart –wrenching) is that idols are not always BAD things like drugs, alcohol, adultery, and all that other bad stuff that is floating around in our world. Sometimes an idol is a good thing like church work, family, husband, friends, work and other noble and worthy actions.

I’ve known this concept for years, but somehow this study encouraged me to dig into God’s word about idols and not to just dismiss the whole concept because I know that I know that I know I shouldn’t have idols in my life. And back to my wondering mind….

I wonder why I have idols in my life – not the bad idols but the good stuff idols, that people at they are impressed with. Is that why I do it? I don’t know, but I do know that I’m learning to look to the Lord for my direction and not to people. I’m learning to consider what His will is for my life instead of what will make people happy. I’m so glad that I serve a Grace giving God. I’m clinging to this verse:

But He gives more grace. Therefore He says:
“God resists
the proud,
gives grace to the humble.”
James 4:6

Grace – He gives grace to the humble. That’s where I want to be – among the humble. That doesn’t mean I can’t laugh and have a blast or that I have to stand around with my head hanging low, nope not at all. I’m just looking to the Lord for my direction and focusing on Him. I’m serving the Most High and that’s humbling. I’m honored and astounded that the Most High would want to use me – this frazzled, faulty, mistake making mess of a woman – but for some reason He sees something in me that I don’t. I wonder why?

I know He sees something in you, too. I encourage you to spend time with Him today and ask Him where He wants your focus. Look to Him for your direction. Look to Him for the path you should take. And most of all, sisters, look to the Lord to know when to say NO and to step down. Ask yourself this question — for whose glory am I serving?

Keep looking to Him for the direction — He will make your paths straight.