I've battled back & forth over this blog post. Normally, I just smack some words together and post. Yes, I know I'm a true wordsmith. But there are the occasional posts that are more thoughtful and prayerful. Today we have the second kind.
Honestly, I wasn't sure I should write it — Lord, I don't really think I have anything to say on the matter. Of course, God knew that wasn't the truth. There isn't a subject on the planet that I won't discuss. Okay, Lord, I don't think I'm the one to say it. We've been talking this out all morning.
As I typed words and deleted them over and over and over, God brought something to mind. Tomorrow I'm speaking on the topic Online Friendships at Ministry:Online and as I prepared for this message God kept pointing me to study beyond the fun and spend some time on the dangers of online deception and toxic relationships. I was certain that I wouldn't use it in my message, but God still had me prepare. I assured God that I am much better at a message about the fun & blessing of online friends, God assured me that He is the one who called me and He would be the one to tell me the message. Ouch. Okay, Lord, I'll study that part too. Today I see His hand and I praise Him for preparing my heart to walk through this with you.
Now to my story:
I've followed a certain blogger who calls herself “B.” I've faithfully read her blog (and that says a lot, I don't even faithfully read my own blog). I followed along as she traveled a path of pain & sorrow.
“B” was pregnant & unmarried when she learned her baby girl would not live. Little April Rose was diagnosed with Trisomy 13. I don't know much about this diagnosis other than what I read on her blog — her baby would not live outside the womb.
I read the pain filled posts of doctors predictions that sweet baby girl would not survive through the pregnancy, much less make it to birth. I prayed for a miracle. Thousands and possible tens of thousands approached the throne on B's behalf and asked for that miracle. This community that came up around B and baby April Rose was one of great prayer warriors, sisters in the faith who'd walked this path before, and Internet friends with a heat to help. We are young and not so young; we are mothers and single ladies; we are home schooling moms and working moms; we are all sisters in the belief that God does bring miracles. We cried out for that miracle.
And we rejoiced when we heard the heartbeat of a strong growing baby girl. A heart beat that had been slowing at each visit, a heart that we'd prayed for God to save, we heard that heartbeat on a YouTube video and we cried.
I talked of B and April Rose to my Bible study girls and I asked for prayer.
We rejoiced when she passed 30 weeks and then 35 weeks.
And then things started happening. Little things that didn't make sense. Red flags that God brought to my attention. And I paid attention. God has taken me down this path before and when He opens my eyes to something I pay attention.
Today,the blogoshpere is talking about B & April Rose — it was deception. Why did she do it? I don't know. It doesn't really matter. That's for B to deal with, not me. I approached the throne of grace and boldly asked for a miracle just as Hebrews 4:16 teaches we are to do.
As each of us tries to figure out this deception, don't let this make you bitter or untrusting. Let God use this experience to grow you and to teach you. For each of you who prayed for this mother and child, keep praying. This woman, mother or not, needs our prayers. Can you imagine the sadness that she must live in? The desire for attention? The desire of money? No matter what her reasons, she needs more Jesus. No matter how any of us feel, we all need more Jesus. Grab onto Him.
Approach the throne of grace with confidence. You are God's chosen one. (Col 3:12); Walk in the knowledge that you are His masterpiece (Eph2:10) and know that you walk in His strength, not your own, and that it is in this strenghth you will find compassion and joy. (Col 1:9-11)
I hold to that. More Hope. More Joy. More Jesus.