I love big hair.  And I do NOT love that I keep reading about the return of big hair accompanied by a picture of some skinny girl with bone straight hair with a poofy hair-bump on her crown.  This is NOT big hair.

Big hair is …. well, it’s big.  Bump hair is poofy, not big

Big hair is …fun.  Bump hair is the vanilla of hair stylin’

Big hair …. is wild.  Bump is anything BUT wild, it’s sedate.  It’s the like the meemaw of hair stylin’

Big hair is NOT bump hair.  I lived through the big hair era.  I had big hair.  I can do big hair.  I understand the mindset behind big hair. 

Big hair  involves a much more than  height at the crown .  Big hair is about backcombing (aka teasing), lots of super stiff hair spray, and mousse – lots of mousse.  Volume was the name of the game.  The bigger and wilder the better! 

Bump hair is about teasing the crown of your head and smoothing your hair straight.  This is NOT big hair.  This is straight hair with a bump in it.  big-hair

Big hair was  almost universal.  There were big hair icons.  One of my favs —

Morgan Fairchild – she could wear her some big hair!big-hair-morganfairchild

There were hair rock bands — I don’t see any bump hair rock bands. Wait…. there was the B-52s. No. That was an  80s band with 1960s hair.

The band Poison rocked  some serious hair.  Their makeup was a bit over the top, but that hair…. oh my — that is BIG hair~

big-hair-poison

Big hair, I miss you.  I miss the wild days we shared.  The dizzy days when I hung my head over to dry all that hair.  The days  of  choking on the  lacquer-like  spray stuff.  I sport flat, plain hair these days, but in my heart I still have unruly curls, scrunched, bunched and moussed hair that is spray into submission.

To all those magazine people who continue to tease me with the headline “Big Hair is Back”  — please stop.  Flat, smooth hair with a Bump-it in place is just bump hair.    When the hair is big, wild, outrageous and just plain  fun  let me know. 

While we’re talking hair stuff, whatever happened to the banana clip?