What is that adage about best laid plans? Something about going awry? I was a bit confused on just what awry means and I wanted to be sure before I slapped it up on a blog. So I did what any good writer does, I right clicked on the word to get a list of synonyms (and yes, I do own a thesaurus and I even own a synonym finder book). Here’s what I found:
out of kilter
Awry also means: muddled, and amiss
So, that’s my world – awry and all those other adjectives. I think muddled, twisted, and out of kilter describe me the best. So, that’s me today – muddled, twisted and out of kilter. Now, I know some of you are thinking … so, what’s new?
It seems that I just get to the place where I think I have a slight grip on what’s happening in my world, and then something shifts. Sometimes these shifts feel like a major earthquake and other times they are more like standing at the ocean’s edge as the sand moves under my feet. Today has been more of an ocean’s edge day – not a serious shift, but one that’s thrown me off balance.
I’ve plotted everything out for the next six months and this latest development isn't in my plans. This doesn’t work for me, Lord. I can’t do this… I have a daughter getting married, a family to care for, a book that’s yet to be finished, a vacation to take, a conference to attend, and an organization to run …. I don’t want to do this. I want to cry and stomp my feet like a petulant child.
I look at my calendar and consider the next months, I start to panic. I feel as if I’m crumbling under the load – so I’m taking a step back and, I take the advice of a dear, sweet friend and “take a breath.”
In that breath I realize that I’m so fast to make plans and lay them out for God to bless. Okay, Lord, here’s the deal—we’re going to do this and then we’ll go there and do that. Today, He caught my attention and, once again, made me see that He’s in control and it’s only through Him that I get through each day. It’s only through Him that I can help with a wedding, care for a family, write a book, take a vacation, attend a conference and run an organization. I don’t function in this world because I’m so together – in fact, without Christ I doubt I could make it a week without just falling down flat on my face.
Fear – that’s what happened today. Just plain fear. I’m afraid if my plans are disturbed then I won’t be able to focus on the wedding, the book, the family, and the list goes on. Maybe that’s the problem – the focus. Today I realized that it’s not about calendars or schedules. It’s about the God I serve. The God who created our universe. The God who breathed life into man. The God who moves mountains and delivers people from captivity and the God who sent His own Son to die for me. This is my God – this God of might and wonder. I have no reason to fear – I serve a wondrous God who’s called me into His service and given me a task. He will equip me for the work He’s laid before me.
I don’t know why the sand shifted today — but He does. I do know this, that I find my joy, my strength and my purpose in my life in Him. He is my rock and my salvation. It’s in Him that I trust.
Today, I am claiming this verse—
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13
I chose to overflow with HOPE by this power! So, even though the sand has shifted and I’m struggling with this new path, I’m trusting in God. He’s faithful and has brought me this far, I trust that He will handle the rest of this journey.
If your sand has shifted lately — ocean's edge or earthquake size, I pray that you'll find strength, purpose, and direction in Him.