We pick up the story with my agreeing to read Lysa TerKeurst’s new book Made to Crave before it goes out to the public.  I’m to read it, do the questions, and send my comments to Holly (Lysa’s incredible assistant & friend). It sounded simple and harmless.  It was neither.

The book made me dig into my life in a way that I didn’t want to – it made me take a look at how I viewed food.  It wasn’t about a diet or nutrition, it was about me and how I viewed myself and where I put my focus.  And the questions….whew!  I remember one section that asked about prayer.  I wrote in the margin ‘to pray would imply I think I have a problem and I don’t want to admit I have a problem.’

Made to Crave made to take a LONG hard look at what I crave.

And I was looking….. but not really hard.  I didn’t make any changes, I just looked at what I was doing and turned away.  If I pretend I don’t have a problem, then I don’t have one, right? 

And then I found myself face to face with Lysa, Holly, and Renee Swope.  They were all on the Girl’s Get A Way cruise and since  I work for the cruise company and blog for the cruise, we were all together – on a ship for days.  I found myself in a conversation with these three and the talk turned to food issues….How did I get here?  I’m talking about food with three women –tall & slim and two tiny girls – what is happening? How would they know about what it’s like for me

They challenged me to make the change – and funny thing I didn’t feel judged but cared for.  I knew in that moment that Lysa cared, Holly cared and Renee cared. 

I made a commitment to give it a try – to make a change.  The commitment wasn’t to these women, it was to God.  I asked Him to change my heart.  I asked Him to give me a craving for Him. 

I’m making the change.. slowly, step by step, I’m changing.  I’m learning to view food as food and not as my comforter or my deliverer.  The pounds are coming off, but it’s about where my heart is – where my focus is. 

I’m moving forward…. and then this happens

Made to Crave Webcast and a message from Holly….would you like to be on the webcast?  And crazy took over my brain and I answered I would LOVE to! 

So I’m scheduled to appear on the webcast on January 31st and y’all have to watch…. please!  I need some support.  To say I’m nervous is an understatement.  Immediately I thought….I HAVE to lose more weight.  HAVE to.  But sweet Holly talked me off that ledge and reminded, again, that this isn’t about pounds it’s about my heart and my cravings. 

So please pray with me that I’ll crave God even more as I prepare. 

And since this is New Year’s Eve, this is my desire for 2011 – crave God more than ever.

So what is your on new thing for 2011?