Mean girls. What's up with this? Seems there are lots of mean girl stories and these are grown up mean girls, not jr high girls. These are grown women snipping and biting with words and tossing caustic glances like arrows in a medieval battle. And then there's the favored tactic of mean girls everywhere – gossip. You can slay a woman with a few half-truths that just “slip” out.
I've watched mean girls in action. I've seen them in the office, at the store, at the hair salon, in friendship circles, in church, and in Bible study. It's heartbreaking.
I'd like to say that I've NEVER been a mean girl, but that's a lie. I've been the mean girl and I've been on the receiving end of the mean girl. I've been on the bad end of gossip and I've spread my share gossip. Through the power of Christ I've denounced my mean girl status and I'm constantly working to never again act like a mean girl.
Maybe my past is why I have such a passion to STOP the meanness.
Why do we hurt each other? What do we hope to achieve?
If I tell people secrets about her personal life, will they like me more?
If I make her look bad will it make me look good?
Scratch the surface of a mean girl and you'll often find a woman who is sad, lonely and insecure.
Maybe she's terrified that you'll find out that she's not perfect (so she points out others imperfections).
Maybe she's scared out of her mind that people won't like her (so she makes herself valuable by providing the best gossip).
Maybe she's afraid of losing the few friends she has (and she attacks those who come near her circle of friends)
So how do we stop this marching of mean that seems to be growing and exploding?
Do something nice -for the mean girls. Check out my friend Robyn's challenge. She's asking us to do something nice and keep it anonymous.
Let's do it. Let's start a wave of kindness to battle the mass of meanness that seems to be everywhere.
And when you come face to face with a mean girl, don't engage her in a battle. Just walk away – and don't call your friend and tell her how you wanted to smack her…. oh wait, that's what I do. Pray for her. Pray that the Lord moves mightily in her life. Trust me it can happen.
Maybe she's just a sad, lonely, or insecure woman…. or maybe, she's just plain mean — it happens.
You rock.
Oh, wait. I’m still jealous that you’re in the mountains and I’m here with T&C who are FIGHTING LIKE CATS AND DOGS and it’s pouring so we can’t go outside.
So your “rock status” is down a couple of points right now.
Never fear. It’ll come back up when you get back to the real world.
Mary, you know that I work in a mean-girl mecca (a high school). Most of the time I ignore the meanness I see or redirect it but sometimes, like yesterday, it makes me sad too.
Here is what happened…a couple of girls (precious girls) were standing near my desk and one was aggrevaited saying how someone made her mad. You know the way girls talk, it was cute! I said, “what is going on.” They explained that because of some girl or girls that “the entire __ grade thought she (my student) was pregnant.” I said “OH.” Then I said, “well, I would tell you to say who cares what people think but I know at your age you do care what people think.” They chuckled. Then I told them that when they get into college and beyond they won’t care a bit what other people think and it is so great. Then I told her that the “mean girls” will look so stupid when time proves the rumors a lie. They smiled and we when on with the usual.
Rumors cause damage and are so hurtful. It sort of made me sad all day because girls do have a talent for torment and it so very unnecessary. Great post and great challenge!
Mary, that is all so true. I remember the mean girl days & sometimes when I cross paths with those mean girls it still makes me shudder a little. 🙂 Love the challenge. One person and do so much even behind the scenes.